LET 'EM EAT CAKE! Did Guv & First Lady Gary & Mona Lee Locke REALLY greet the new millennium at Bill Gates' private party? True, Bill's party was 2,000 times better than the Seattle Snooze, but Gare -- it's mighty easy to forget the little people when you're hanging with the world's richest geek!
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SHERMAN ALEXIE TAKE NOTE: My pal Skillit turned me on to this website, where you're sure to feel right at home: www.mulletsgalore.com/. It even features an educational photo gallery of about 30 detailed "Mullet Classifications." I'd say my beloved Sherman Alexie comes closest to #16 or #25. Mullet Power! ··· Speaking of authoritative hairdos, I was entertaining my in-laws (aaaaaughhhhh!!!!) at yupp-o-riffic Cafe Flora Sat 1/15 when I spied a PERFECT Dorothy Hamill wedge at the next table! At 43, "America's Sweetheart" is still skating... y'know, it could've been her!! Who else would wear that hairdo?
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A BIG WANGER: I still haven't listened to The Buzz 100.7 FM's comedy show "Shaken Not Stirred" (Sat 9 pm), but get this: Co-host Scotty Crane's people took exception to my description of him as a PRETTY LITTLE GIRLY-ROCKER-MAN, and sent me a foxy nude photo just to show off Scotty's BIG WANGER. And folks, let me tell you, Scotty has a lovely big pee-pee! Wanna see it? E-mail me and I'll send a picture of Scotty and his BIG WANGER.
I kid because I love. shirley@thestranger.com.
