In celebrity news: Eric Idle of Monty Python fame was spotted breakfasting at the Paramount Hotel's Dragonfish Cafe early last week, apparently satisfying an early-morning yen for Pan Asian cuisine. However, the visiting Brit had to settle for "American breakfast crap." (Before 11 am, Dragonfish -- rather incongruously -- serves mostly eggs, hash browns, toast, and OJ.) Mr. Idle was in town to meet with the press to promote Eric Idle Exploits Monty Python, running May 15-16 at the Paramount Theatre. He was described by his waitron as "very nice."

Lovely day for it: Shaken, Not Stirred radio show co-hosts Johnny Seattle and Scotty Crane darted through Pike Place market bare-assed nekkid last Friday, arousing awareness of Earth Day and stultified tourists. Johnny and Scotty's au natural -- and surprisingly provocative -- romp was captured on video and is available for your voyeuristic pleasure at http://www.shaken.net

Oh captain, my captain! Ethan Hawke will be gracing Seattle with his rumpled, unshaven presence on May 5. The snaggle-toothed cutie is coming to town to promote his new, updated Noo Yawk version of Hamlet, in which he plays the moody title character (God deliver us from bad Shakespeare adaptations). According to an industry insider, Ethan will be taping at KUOW during his visit. Fans, groupies, and stalkers are encouraged to spy on Mr. Hawke and report back to me.

Macaulay Culkin sightings keep rolling in! The feral former child star has been spotted all over downtown, happily hanging on wife/actress Rachel Miner, who has a role in God of Vengeance, now playing at ACT. Poor lovesick Mac is rumored to be at the theater every night, cheering on his bride, and trying to hide behind his hair. And they said it wouldn't last.

Take ME out to the ball game! Mariners superhunk Alex Rodriguez was seen window shopping outside of the Pacific Place Pottery Barn last week. A-Rod was looking very tan and dreamy in rust-colored pants, white dress shirt, and smart navy sweater-vest. An unidentified short "blond" woman accompanied him. Damn it.

I am watching you. Try to be interesting. Send gossip to adrian@thestranger.com