December 25, 1998
KLOD
Attn: Program Director
1746 Sunnyside Way
Big Stone Gap, ARK 75624
As a bus boy and line cook, I've worked at such fine establishments as
Sorry Charlies, Wendy's and the world famous, Sea-Tac Ramada Inn.
But my real passion, my lineage in fact, lies in radio production.
Between 1960 and 1965, my father, Bob Crane, was the top-rated radio
personality in the Los Angeles market on KNX, CBS Radio. More
importantly, in 1978, he was bludgeoned to death with a camera tripod.
And all I got out of the deal was his receding hairline, and an appetite
for homemade pornography. But the way I look at it is this: if goddamn
Charlie Sheen and Kiefer Sutherland can get work, why the fuck can't I.
Radio work is not only my passion, it's my god-given right.
Enclosed please find my promo tape.
Regards,
Scott Crane
Outpatient Radio
(Note: After careful consideration, we decided not to send this cover letter.)